So for anyone who happens to stumble across this blog that doesn't know me very well or at all, I'll fill you in on one thing: I'm quite a passionate person. Not like outwardly passionate about everything where the people in my life are irritated with me or think I'm a freak or anything.
It's just that, when I get excited about something, I'm EXCITED about it. I'm so excited that my life is consumed by this one thing and I have to invest every bit of me that I can into it so that I'm eating, sleeping, breathing, living whatever it is that I'm so EXCITED about.
This is my brand of passion.
The only problem with this kind of passion is that it's a bright fire that burns hot but not for a very long time. Since I quit dancing in my early teens, I've picked up countless hobbies, each time becoming ridiculously EXCITED about it and making sure that I have all the tools available for a lifetime of this hobby and then after a while, it all fizzles out and I move onto the next one.
Sure, some hobbies have lasted longer than others. When I was younger, before I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and a bit out of control, I wrote a lot. Poetry, short stories. They were pretty good too. I was even published somewhere; I can't remember where. But even know I'm struggling to motivate myself to finish the screenplay which I've been working on for months.
I've also managed to keep up my knitting and crocheting, both of which I taught myself 9 years ago (!!), but I dare you to count the unfinished knitting/crochet projects lying around in boxes in my garage or tucked away in closets in my house.
My hobbies aren't the only things that fall to this fate. I come up with some really great ideas as well which I get so pumped up about and then lose the motivation and the passion which I originally have for them, for no reason. A few months ago, my mom encouraged me to start an internet business and I came up with a really great idea for one which involved Steve and a developer which he does a lot of work with and myself and we were all so excited about it and planned it all out and even developed the website like 3 days after I told them the idea, but it never got put up, because I lost passion so the guys did too. It was my idea and I should have kept their motivation up.
Friday night, I came up with a new idea. I won't say what it is, however I will say that I am trying a new approach with this. What if I don't get overly passionate about it? What if I don't go all out nuts and stay calm and methodical and rational and go slow? Maybe I won't lose it? This particular idea isn't a business idea. It's not something which will make me a lot of money. I want to help other people and I am REALLY hoping that I don't fizzle out on this one because it could be amazing =]
1 comments:
Very good.
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